Forever Loved
by happysunshine01
Summary: After a horrible loss, JJ falls in love with a fellow agent. As months pass by their relationship turns more complicated and JJ leaves the CIA, only to live a life of unimaginable darkness. When they meet again years later, JJ tries to mend the broken pieces from her old life as she is forced to face the demons from her dark past. (Spin-off to Forever Found)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Here I am with a new story. This is a spin-off story to Forever Found (centered in the ''Forever Universe''). I decided to write this story because I just love some of the characters I created for Forever Found, and because some plots I had come up with were never written into that story. So characters from that story will reappear in this story, and plots I didn't get to explore in Forever Found will be explored here. And in the future I will probably write more stories for this universe.

So this first chapter is to give you guys a taste of what this story will entail in the future. After this chapter I will go back a few years into the past to tell the story up till this chapter. I am doing this to establish the back story and explain how Hotch and JJ have gotten to this point.

I am really excited to start this journey with you guys! Please let me know if you guys are interested in this at all.

On another note: I am extremely honored to announce that two of my stories have been nominated for three different categories for the Profilers Choice Awards 2014. Forever Found has been nominated for Best Het Romance and Best Characterization of JJ, and Life After 200 has been nominated for Best JJ/Hotch. I can't thank you all enough! I love you all so much, and it means the absolute world to me that my stories are appreciated. Being nominated is such an honor, and there are just no words to thank you.

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><p>"<em><strong>Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."<br>― Khalil Gibran**_

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><p><em><strong>Chapter One <strong>_

The room was crowded, a moment of hesitation holding her back before she motioned towards her target unnoticed. One hand grasped the gun that rested on her hip underneath the expensive dress she wore as she moved stealthily across the crowd, her eyes following the target up the stairs. She made her way forward and kept walking until she reached the stairs. Before making her way up, she glanced around the room to make sure that no one had followed her or had eyes on her. When she cleared her surroundings, she moved up the stairs silently and began to put her mission into motion. She opened up her line of communication with her contact for support if it was necessary.

''Target acquired!'' she whispered when she noticed the older blading man through the open door. She retrieved her gun, taking a moment to put the silencer in place. She pointed the gun ahead of her with her back against the wall. She stepped towards the door and within seconds she was standing in the doorway of the bedroom, firing one bullet at her target. The man slumped to the floor and stopped moving two seconds after she pulled off the headshot. She stepped towards the body, kneeling down to check for a pulse. ''Target is down.'' she confirmed coldly. She felt no remorse for what she had just done. It was her job. She had gotten used to it.

''_You've got company. Two black SUV's, with two five men teams.''_

She hurried to the window and looked down, seeing multiple agents wearing SWAT outfits beginning to enter the house. She secured her gun on her hip and ran out of the bedroom as she kept her line of communication open. ''I need extraction!'' she urged. She was waiting for anyone on the other end to help her find a way to get out before she was caught. ''Reed, do you copy?''

''_I copy. Working on it!''_

She heard screams among the guests downstairs and she knew they had entered the house heavily armed. She immediately slipped out of the bedroom and made her way across the hallway. Her best bet would be to exit without being noticed, knowing her identity along with people she worked for had to stay hidden at all costs. She closed the door behind her and leaned against it after it closed. She could hear the footsteps on the stairs, and she realized her chances of fighting the men were going to be slim. So she ran across the study and looked out the window as more SUV's began to pull up. It was at that point that her adrenaline really began to rush through her veins. Her mission was classified, yet she had company.

''Reed, tell me there's another way out of here! I need a plan B, now!'' she whispered, hoping she'd get out of the mess she was apparently in. But before she could say another word, the door crashed open, pieces of wood flying across the room due to the force of the kick. Instinctively, she reached for her gun, but within a second it was kicked from her hand by the agent. She immediately realized she wasn't dealing with FBI or local law enforcement. As a trained operative she could spot CIA easily by the way they fought. Fortunately, she had gotten additional training years ago and had become one of the best within her division.

She leaped forward, her hands clenched in tight fists as she began her attack. She was met with a swing coming her way. She lunged to the side, falling to the ground and colliding with the floor harshly. Her gaze moved across the floor and she quickly got one of the wooden pieces of the door in her hand. She jumped up from the ground and used the wood to slam it against the other agent's head, causing him to fall to the ground unconsciously. She bent down and retrieved her gun and sprinted out of the room, trying to find her best escape route. She could hear the voices of other agents coming from across the corridor, so she attached her gun back to her hip and calmly went down the stairs and mixed in with the panicked crowd as she saw a group of five other agents entering through the front door. She whirled around with the hopes that she hadn't been spotted yet, and that the agent upstairs was still unconscious. She knew his condition was about to tip them off regarding her presence. So she kept moving quickly and with ease, like she had done too many times before.

Within seconds she had reached the luxurious kitchen and she once again opened her line of communication with her contact. ''Exiting through the kitchen.'' she informed them, and then she proceeded outside. The cold air brushed against her skin, making her shiver as she cautiously moved across the garden. Her surroundings were silent, and she felt optimistic about her extraction. She knew exactly where the car with agents was waiting for her, but getting to that point meant a twenty minute walk through the woods.

But just when she suspected to be out of trouble, she heard a familiar voice over her com, giving her some bad news. _''JJ, the area has been surrounded.''_

''Adrian?'' she asked in shock, surprised that he was now talking to her from his end. Adrian was usually working on operations and running the division together with Vivian Carter. ''What do you want me to do?'' she asked, a panicked tone present in her voice.

Before she got an answer, she heard footsteps behind her and she realized her voice had given her away. She put her hand on her hip, covering the gun just in case she wasn't identified as an agent. But when she felt a hand covering her mouth and another arm pulling her back against a hard muscular chest, she realized she was in trouble. Her hands clawed at the arm around her neck when the chokehold caused her to gasp for air desperately. She had been overpowered because she hadn't been paying attention while she was in contact with her division. As a last resort, she began to slam her elbow backwards, and again, and again until she felt the grip on her body loosen. She took the moment to slam her other elbow into the face of the agent holding onto her. After her elbow collided with his face, he stumbled backwards and she immediately whirled around, delivering a powerful kick to his abdomen. While the agent groaned out in pain, JJ began a frantic search for her gun when she realized it had in some way gotten lost during the fight.

The agent looked up from the ground, one hand covering his stomach as he retrieved the gun from his ankle holster. He quickly pushed himself up from the ground and pointed the gun in the direction of the blonde. ''Freeze!'' he ordered in an authoritative tone.

She froze. It was almost as if her body stopped existing. That's how truly scared she was in that moment. She would've recognized that voice from a mile away, and she realized that the moment she'd turn around her career was over.

''Turn around! Now!''

JJ did as she was ordered to do. He was after all carrying a gun. The fear began coursing through her body as she slowly began to turn around with her arms in the air, the adrenaline pumping through her veins.

He watched as the blonde woman began to turn around. It didn't happen often that he got attacked by a woman, not to mention anyone with the kind of strength she had. He watched her every move to keep her from attacking again. One wrong move and he could easily shoot her in the leg or shoulder. He was now in charge. But the moment his gaze shifted to her face, any thought of shooting or fighting left his mind. Instead, anger and shock began to push its way to the surface. ''JJ!'' he exclaimed in complete disbelief as he kept his gun pointed at her. It was the face he never expected to see again. She had left their life. She had chosen a different life. But seeing her across from him told a completely different story than she had told him years ago. ''Get on the ground!'' he ordered as he took a step forward. His eyes never left hers as he kept closing the distance.

''Hello, Aaron.'' JJ greeted coldly as she looked into his eyes, her emotions unfazed. She wasn't all that surprised to see him again.

''What the hell are you doing here?'' Hotch demanded angrily. ''You got out of this life years ago.''


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I was happy to hear that you guys liked the first chapter. I know this story is different from the story line in Forever Found, but I wanted to build a new concept around those characters, so that's why not everything is the same. If you have any questions, feel free to ask! This chapter and the following chapters take place three years earlier than the first chapter.

As for Forever Found, there will be at least one more chapter coming soon. Even though I have started this one, I know there are some things to explore in that story, so it's not over just yet.

As always thank you guys for following, favoriting, reading and reviewing my stories!

Special thanks to jenny crum, jjcrimminds, snuggleUP, HotchRocks and Jareau37!

I don't own criminal minds!

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Two<strong>_

_Three years earlier..._

Jennifer Jareau gazed out the window with anticipation, the city beneath the clouds looking incredibly small as the plane began its descend. There were few words to describe how she was feeling. She was excited about finally returning home from her overseas mission after three weeks away. Not to mention that it had been too long since she had last seen her fiancé. Even though time flew by while she was on assignment, she always felt a void when he wasn't with her, and she was about to be reunited with him after two months apart. So excitement couldn't nearly cover how she was feeling.

Her eyes momentarily shifted to the opposite side of the jet where two of her colleagues were in deep conversation, probably discussing the reports that had to be finished the next day before they'd be assigned another mission. That was usually how it worked. Her life was one mission after another, but it didn't bother her. The life she lived was everything she dreamed about when she was younger. Her career had taken off quickly and in just a few short years she rose the ranks in her division, which gave her amazing opportunities. And even though she had few friends in order to keep her career a secret, she was as happy as she could ever be.

She was torn from her thoughts when she felt the plane touch down, and it immediately caused her heart to speed up. She had waited for this moment for eight agonizing weeks and now it had finally arrived. So she impatiently waited for the plane to come to a halt, and when it did, she quickly said goodbye to her colleagues before approaching the exit of the plane. And as the smile on her face began to grow widely, it disappeared just as quickly when she noticed a black SUV waiting in the distance with an unknown agent leaning against it, looking rather disheveled. Nowhere in the distance did she see the one person she had been waiting for, and her body slowed down as if the ground had shifted beneath her. She put one foot in front of the other as she began to proceed to the SUV, hoping her fear wasn't about to come true. Yet she kept walking, and then finally the stranger began to walk towards her with his arms sternly by his side. She breathed in deeply to mentally prepare herself. She recognized the look of the man approaching her. She had seen it too many times too count. She knew that expression by heart. But with this man there was also a difference, and she didn't know why.

Hotch gazed across the tarmac as the plane came to a standstill. He continued to wait with a heavy heart, his own mind not really present for what he was about to do. How could he ever be ready? He looked down at the picture in his hands, the paper damaged from the many times it had been folded up. He held it lovingly in his hand as if was the most important object in his life. He took another moment to inspect it, like he had done so many times before during his flight home from Iraq. He stared at the delicate face of the young woman in the photo, his eyes gazing at a pair of perfect ocean blue eyes, framed by long lashes. A wide beautiful smile matched the joy that was apparent in her eyes. He couldn't blame any man for loving the face in that photo. She was the embodiment of perfection, even just in a simple picture. He quickly turned picture around in his hand to once again see the name ''JJ'' scribbled on the back in the familiar handwriting. He hurriedly put the picture back in his pocket when he heard the sound of a door opening, and he leaned against his SUV, his hands by his side. He watched as the first passenger descended the stairs, and he instantly realized it was the girl from the picture. He watched her carefully and felt his heart beginning to sink as she came closer with each step. He watched as she stopped for just a moment and then began walking, her bag thrown back over her shoulder. It looked she had just returned home from an active mission. She was wearing tight black jeans, a leather jacket and black combat boots to match the rest of her outfit. He forced himself to look up and after he gathered his emotions and put on his stoic mask, he began to walk towards her. And as they closed the distance he noticed that her expression had become filled with sorrow, and he expected that she already had an inkling as to what news she was about to receive.

When they were only a few feet apart, JJ finally stopped and looked up at the man who stepped right in front of her. His authoritative gaze told her he was high-placed within the agency, and his calm stamina also gave away his years of experience. But that wasn't the one thing that stood out to her. What stood out to her were his eyes. They were brown, but filled with an extreme sadness that left an ache in her heart.

''Hello,'' Hotch greeted absentmindedly, extending his hand politely. ''Are you JJ?''

JJ extended her own hand, letting it touch the warm hand of stranger quickly before pulling away. Without greeting him she decided to just answer his question. ''Jennifer Jareau.'' she whispered in a horrified tone. ''JJ.'' she added to verify his question.

''I am Aaron Hotchner.'' he introduced with a shaky voice. ''I've come here to inform you…'' he said, but before he could finish his sentence JJ interrupted him.

''Is it about Daniel?'' she asked fearfully, her hand touching the engagement ring on her finger out of sentiment as her bag fell to the ground. ''Is…he…? Did he…?'' she said on the verge of tears.

''Daniel was killed shortly after the deployment of our strike team.'' he confirmed sadly, watching as the eyes of the blonde before him began to fill with tears. ''I am so sorry.''

''No! No!'' she cried out. The desperation of her cries began to fill the cold air as the tears fell from her eyes. In that moment her world stopped existing, and she felt herself growing dizzy while the reality began to set in. The man she loved, her fiancé, had died.

Hotch watched as her face grew pale and the tears covered the smooth skin around her eyes. Someone he didn't know was falling apart right before him, and he didn't know what to do. He had also lost someone. His friend, his partner, someone in his unit. He had lost Daniel as well, even if he still wasn't willing to admit it.

As JJ's body began to shake violently, Hotch realized how real the situation was and he felt his own control slipping. A tear traveled down his cheek at the same moment that he watched JJ beginning to lose her footing. He quickly closed the distance and caught her by her waist, keeping her from falling to the ground.

JJ was completely lost as she was crying out all the pain. Thoughts and tears were overwhelming her, the pain in her chest making it harder to breath. In that moment she was more vulnerable than she had been in her entire life on earth, and she was falling apart with the arms of a complete stranger wrapped around her. ''Where is he?'' she croaked out.

Hotch pulled away when he was assured that she was strong enough to stand and took a step back to put distance between them. ''He's at DC Memorial if you want to see him.''

''Hmm…yes…I have to see him.'' she said in a panic as her eyes began searching for a way of the tarmac, her heart beating erratically in her chest.

''I will take you.'' he offered immediately. He walked to the door of the passenger's seat and held it open until JJ shakily climbed into the seat. Hotch then proceeded to pick up her bag and put it in the back of the car. He moved to the driver's side hastily and once he sat inside the SUV, he put the keys in the ignition and drove off the runway.

As the car was moving smoothly, JJ was dazed. Her tears had dried up, and her body had stopped shaking. She was just staring out of the window, images of Daniel flashing before her eyes.

''What happened?'' she suddenly croaked out after fifteen silent minutes had passed by.

Hotch pulled the car up to the side of the road, and turned off the engine. He then turned to JJ to face her, knowing all along she was going to ask questions about his death. ''My unit…our unit.'' he corrected quickly. ''…we received intell about the location of our target. Shortly after the deployment of the strike team we were under attack. A sniper shot him in the heart.'' he said honestly. ''He died in my arms.''

JJ finally looked up into Hotch's eyes as he finished. She could see he was also affected by the death of Daniel, and she felt a moment of regret wash over her. ''Was he in pain?''

''No, he died quickly.'' he responded as he gazed back into her eyes. ''Daniel talked about you all the time.'' he said, knowing his friend had truly loved the woman that was now sitting next to him. ''For months I believed you weren't real because he never revealed your name to me.''

A small smile appeared on JJ's face, thinking of Daniel in a different light. ''We started dating not to long after I started training at the farm, and when I joined SAD we realized we had to keep our relationship quiet.'' she explained. ''So you two were friends?''

''Yes, I knew him for six years. We were in the same unit all that time.'' Hotch replied. ''He was my best friend actually.''

''I am sorry.'' JJ said, another tear of grief falling from her eye. Talking about him in a positive way made her forget for just a moment, but only a moment. She was never going to see him again. He was gone, and she was still alive, left to deal with sorrow and grief in the wake of his absence.

Hotch's gaze was fixed on JJ as she was blankly staring at her hands. He slowly took the picture from his jacket pocket, for a moment reliving the moment he had first seen the picture.

_Gunfire had erupted in the middle of the road as Hotch raced to the opposite side to get to Daniel. From the distance he had seen the younger man stumbling to the ground after a sniper shot him in the chest. And it was now officially a race between life and death. The adrenaline was pumping through his veins, keeping him moving forward._

_When he finally reached his friend, he recognized that his injury was worse than he first expected. Blood was seeping from his chest as he was fighting for air to fill his lungs. ''Daniel? Come on, man! Hold on!'' Hotch insisted, trying to keep himself together. _

_The world around Daniel had suddenly gone silent, everything around him slowing down. The pain in his chest, surprising him greatly. It was more shock than real pain. His eyes opened to see Hotch hovering above him, saying something, but he heard nothing. His world was ceasing to exist, and he knew the end was about to come. And at that moment one thought entered his mind. JJ. He weakly reached down his pocket, pulling the damaged picture from his pants and holding it in his hand. Seeing that beautiful smile in the picture was the only thing that truly kept him going during his time away from home. ''Keep her safe!'' he mumbled, almost inaudibly. ''Protect her!''_

_Before Hotch could respond, Daniel took his last breath and passed away. Hotch immediately fell back to the ground, noticing the picture that clung in Daniel's hand. He removed the picture from his unmoving hand, and unfolded it, seeing a blonde beauty smiling back at him._

Hotch held the picture in his hand hesitantly before handing it to JJ. ''You should have this.'' he whispered painfully, empathizing with the woman next to him.

Once JJ was faced with the picture the tears returned and she wasn't able to fight them off. The meaning of it was significant to her. It was the one thing that Daniel valued in his life when he was away from home, and now it was in her hands. It wasn't right.

Her body had begun to shake again, and the sight was breaking Hotch's heart into a million pieces. So he reached for her and offered her his embrace, his arms finding its way around her waist as she began to sob into his shirt.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it!

And I am sorry for the long wait, but I was busy with studying for exams and fortunately I have my last one on Monday. So I'll be back more frequently after that.

Special thanks to jenny crum, Westie80, HotchRocks and Jareau37!

I don't own criminal minds!

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Three<strong>_

Hotch had driven them to the hospital in complete silence after JJ had fallen apart in his arms for about half an hour. He had simply held her, hoping he could somehow take some of her pain away. When Daniel had handed him the picture of her, he never expected to be faced with someone like JJ. Daniel had often spoken of the girl he had fallen in love with, but he had never mentioned she was with the CIA, or that their relationship was as strong as it had apparently had been by the emotions JJ had presented. It only made him want to keep her safe like Daniel had asked. He would do absolutely anything in the memory of his best friend. But as he had looked at his side during the drive he had often wondered if she'd ever get through the loss of someone so important to her. In his life Hotch had felt the loss of a loved one. The loss of someone so important that their absence could destroy you. And he couldn't stand that JJ was now going through it.

JJ had come to an abrupt halt in front of the closed doors, her entire world spinning around her. Opening those doors meant that he was really dead, and seeing it for herself would make it reality, and she didn't know if she could deal with that just yet. So she was just standing still with her hands wrapped around her own body while Hotch kept standing right behind her.

Hotch took a step forward, his hand coming to rest gently on her shoulder. ''You don't have to do this.'' he whispered sweetly. ''You shouldn't see him like this.''

She slowly turned around, the tears still filling her eyes as she stared up at him. ''It still doesn't seem real. It is like he'll walk through those doors any moment.'' she croaked out. ''This is something I have to do.''

''Do you want me to come inside with you?'' he asked for support. He wanted to help her through this. Up until an hour ago she was a complete stranger and now he was feeling an incredible need to protect her from the world, and he didn't know why or how. He just did feel that way, as unexplainable as it was.

She simply nodded and turned back around. Her shivering hand reached out for the door and she gradually pushed it open. She stepped inside with difficulty, the smell of death hitting her in an instant. She walked to the middle of the room where she noticed a body covered up by a white blanket. She put one foot in front of the other, the sorrow within her reaching the surface as she finally paused next to the body. She grasped the thin fabric and lifted it up gently, exposing his face. His green eyes were empty, cold looking even. She could feel the tears trickling from her eyes, and her entire world came to a stop. Her heart had been torn from her body, her hands shaking intensely as she stroked his brown hair. He was just dead. Simply gone from the world. Ripped from her life without an explanation.

Hotch watched from a few feet away as JJ was standing next to the body of Daniel. Daniel Wilson was once a vivacious man with a prominent future. Someone everyone respected and loved. And as he stood there, he was reminded of the grief he had once been through and still carried with him. His heart had been torn and even after ten years he hadn't been able to put the broken pieces back together. He probably never would be able to, no matter what. He cringed when her desperate cries began to fill the room and he walked towards her.

Every moment, every word was coursing through her mind. Had she told him she loved him? Did he know what he meant to her? She'd never know. He was gone. Their relationship was gone. All that was left was his fragile body, laying on a slab in the morgue. Nothing was left, except the memories of their life together.

Hotch took a hold of the blanket and carefully used it to cover him back up, knowing that the sight would only increase JJ's grief. ''I'll bring you home.'' he encouraged gently as he turned her around by putting his hands on her shoulders.

There was no fight left in her so she followed Hotch out of the hospital and back to the car. She was so consumed with grief that she couldn't find anything to say. She was silent, still in a haze. Her world had been rocked just an hour ago and she had no idea how she could ever move forward. They had planned a future together. They were supposed to grow old together, and one day leave the agency when they wanted to have a family. She was supposed to become his wife, and now all those plans had vanished with Daniel.

She needed to know why he had died. There had to be a reason behind his death, some explanation that would make it all make sense. She needed a reason. And as she exited the hospital behind Hotch, she was in a complete daze, feeling unbelievably empty.

They arrived at JJ's apartment about forty minutes later, the car pulling up to the side of the building. Hotch turned off the car and took the keys from the ignition, turning his head to JJ. She had faced away from him since leaving the hospital, just blankly staring out the window. He had consciously chosen to give her space, knowing that she was going to need support but time to herself as well.

''Do you need me to walk you inside?'' he asked tenderly, his voice with a softness that even surprised him.

She shook her head in response and opened the car door, leaving without saying a word to him. She threw the door shut behind her and quickly retrieved her bag from the backseat. She shuffled around her bag for her keys, and made her way to the building when she finally had them in her hands.

Hotch just stared as she walked off. But something inside of him forced him out of the car and to go after her. He caught up with her before the entrance and blocked her path. ''You shouldn't be alone right now.'' he told her as he took the bag from her hand.

''Sure,'' JJ whispered as she opened the door and walked inside with Hotch just behind her. She turned to the left and walked two flights of stairs before reaching her floor. The stairs led up to a long corridor with several apartment, and JJ hurriedly paced to the end and stopped in front of the apartment door. Once she was inside she'd only be reminded of Daniel. It would keep hitting her in the face and she didn't know how many more times she could cry her eyes out. The fact that it had been with a stranger around hadn't helped either, but she realized that Daniel's friend was only being nice. She appreciated his presence more than she was letting on. She just wasn't in the mood for thanking anybody.

She eventually opened the door and stumbled inside. The first thing that brought back memories was his favorite chair. They had often been curled up in it together after long days of work.

Hotch silently closed the door behind and expected that JJ was possibly reliving some old memories. He eyeballed the apartment for a moment, coming to the conclusion that it was simple, yet filled with warmth and love. There weren't any pictures of them hanging out in the open and he suspected it was because their relationship had been kept a secret from SAD, and probably to sustain their covers. He could only guess that photos and keepsakes were stashed away somewhere safely only for the couple to see.

JJ sensed that another moment of tears was about to hit her when she decided to excuse herself. ''I'm going to take a shower.'' she rasped, her voice low. ''Help yourself to anything you need.'' she said politely before leaving the living room and hurrying into the master bedroom.

It was about five minutes later that JJ found herself sitting on the ground, her back against the bed. She was wearing a dark blue oversized shirt that belonged to Daniel and still smelled like him. In her hands she desperately held onto the engagement ring as she was staring down at the picture that Hotch had returned to her. The tears had returned and she was now sobbing into her hands distraughtly.

On the other side of the door Hotch overheard the frantic cries of the young blonde and he felt his heart clench. He wished he could take her pain away even just for a second. He put his glass of water down in the kitchen and softly strode back to the door. He knocked on it, hoping JJ would let him in so he could be there for her, but he got nothing. And against his better judgment, he opened the bedroom door and moved inside. He spotted her on the other side of the bed. Before making his way over to her, he rid himself of his suit jacket and placed it on a side table. He moved around the bed and witnessed the sight before him with a heavy heart. He caught a glimpse of a diamond ring and understood that they had been engaged. ''Were you and Daniel…'' he tried to ask but JJ answered him before he had the chance to finish the question.

JJ opened her hand with the ring in it so he could see it. ''We were engaged.''

He walked to the wall opposite of JJ and he sank down to the ground, his back against the wall. His hands came to rest on his knees as he stared back at JJ. He could still see evidence of her tears. Her eyes were red and just a little bit swollen, and he could still see some tears on her cheeks. ''I really am sorry.'' he whispered.

''I don't know how I'll get over this.'' she said in tears. ''How can I ever move on from something like this?''

''You don't!'' Hotch admitted boldly. He clenched his hands together, feeling comfortable enough to tell JJ a heartbreaking part of his past. ''At first, it doesn't seem real. You convince yourself that they aren't gone, that they couldn't possibly be dead. And for a moment it works. You believe it.'' he went on emotionally, his own memories rushing to the surface. He could feel his own tears building up in his eyes. ''But as time moves on, it'll sink in though. That they are not coming back, and your world falls apart. Completely.'' he breathed out. ''Some people will get angry, others depressed. It is different for everyone.'' he explained emphatically. ''I got angry. Angry at the world. Angry at him for leaving me behind.''

The tears were streaming down her cheeks, her heart beating in her chest. She could feel his pain, like it was her own. ''Who was he?''

It was a part of his past he rarely spoke of. It had driven him to be become who he was now. ''He was my older brother.'' he uttered. ''He died in a suicide bomb attack in Afghanistan.''

JJ took his hand and gently squeezed it to let him know she was there for him as well. That even though they were strangers, they could somehow rely on each other for support. ''I am so sorry.''

''It does get better, JJ. Losing someone is never easy.'' he whispered, his voice soft and packed with a distant pain that was rushing to the surface. ''One day you'll remember him and it won't hurt.'' he went on. ''You'll be happy!''

''Thank you.'' she said, their eyes connecting and for a second she actually believed him. ''For everything.''


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to jenny crum, HotchRocks and Jareau37!

I don't own criminal minds!

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Four<strong>_

The building was silent, the few people who were there, turning as they saw him walking inside. He suspected that even the analysts in their department had heard of the tragedy in Iraq. Many people had respected and loved Daniel. He was kind, warm and honest. Someone who deserved much better than the way his life had ended just the day before. If Hotch could've switched places, he would have done so. Not that he wasn't content with his life. He just felt that Daniel had so much more left to live for. He was younger, not only that, but he had a fiancé waiting for him to return home safely. After he had left JJ alone at the apartment, he had gone home to his empty apartment, knowing that his wife was sharing her time with another man. Their separation had been inevitable, but that didn't make it hurt any less. But somehow after he got home he found himself laying in bed all night, thinking about the blonde only. He hadn't been able to rid himself of worrying about her. She was completely falling apart and he didn't know if he'd ever be able to help her move forward.

He turned left at the end of the bullpen and walked down the corridor and stepped into the first office on the right, seeing his boss looking down reports through the glass. He knocked on the door, immediately getting the invitation to come inside. Once he closed the door behind and looked at his boss, he knew the situation was severe. ''I'm here for the debriefing.'' he said simply with both his hand clenched together before him.

Collins looked up at Hotch, seeing he was in mourning, just like the rest of his unit. He realized once the news spread everyone in SAD was going to be grieving the loss of one of their own. ''Hotchner, have a seat.'' Collins offered. He closed the report on his desk and focused on Hotch. ''I was so sorry to hear about Daniel's death. His death is a loss to us all.''

''I know, sir.'' Hotch said sadly, not knowing exactly what to say.

''Well, it's good to have you back after six months away in Iraq.'' Collins began. ''I have some good news and bad news for you.''

''What is it?''

''The bad news is that after reading dozens pages of statements from your other agents, I am afraid that Daniel's death was planned.'' he explained quickly. ''I suspect that your unit walked into a trap.''

Hotch rose from his chair angrily. After Daniel had died in his arms, he hadn't exactly been too concerned with the motive behind his death, but hearing Collins' suspicions made everything seem right. The intell from an unidentified source, and the fact that only Daniel had been killed. ''Are you launching an investigation into his death?''

''Yes, I have decided to form a taskforce that will investigate his death, and to find the people responsible.'' he responded. ''Operation Tango has been terminated. I am assigning you as the lead agent of the new taskforce, which will require clearance level top secret.'' he went on, noticing that the look Hotch's face was one of the astonishment. ''The database with the classified files will only be able to be accessed by two high-ranking agents in the taskforce. I have therefore assigned a second agent as your second-in-command.''

''Who?'' Hotch asked curiously.

Collins rose from his chair, picking up the remote and turning on the screen on his wall. He clicked a button and a picture of the agent appeared. ''Interpol Agent Emily Prentiss. She's a former CIA field operative with an outstanding record. Her international contacts can prove to be of much use.''

Hotch looked at the picture intently, feeling confident when he observed the professionalism the woman displayed. This taskforce was going to become his top priority. Catching the person who shot his best friend was going to pay for it, no matter what. He wasn't going to give up. ''How many agents will be assigned to the taskforce?'' he asked as he sat back down.

''I have already assigned a total of ten analysts and fifteen agents to your taskforce.'' he replied. ''Most of them are agents you've never met. It is important to stay focused and keep your eyes on the price, Hotchner.''

''Of course, sir.'' Hotch agreed.

Collins sat back down in his chair. ''Someone should also inform Daniel's girlfriend, Jennifer Jareau.'' he suddenly realized.

''Fiancé actually.'' Hotch corrected almost painfully as he leaned forward in the chair. He looked intently at Collins and saw a wave of pain cross his face at the mention of the engagement. ''Daniel gave me her picture right before he died. During the flight home I was put into contact with Penelope Garcia and she informed when and where Jennifer was going to arrive.''

Collins rose from his chair, walking to the other side of his office where he quickly took two bottle of waters from the mini fridge. He moved back to the desk and handed Hotch a bottle as he sat back down, wondering how JJ had taken the news. ''How is she doing?''

''I honestly don't know, sir.'' he answered with regret. ''She seemed out of it. Heartbroken, but that is to be expected.''

Death and loss was a part of their lives on the job, but losing one of their own was a tragedy. Another agent had joined the never ending list of those who died in field, serving their country with honor. Daniel was a hero to many in the agency, and to Collins he was no different. An impeccable agent with a true dedication to his job. ''I know this division and the units will recover, but it'll take some time I am afraid.'' Collins mumbled, not really speaking to Hotch but trying to convince himself of it.

''How long has Jennifer been with the agency?'' Hotch asked curiously, wondering how JJ had ended up with SAD. Anyone within the department knew it was an honor to be a part of such an elite division, and not many ever had the opportunity to join. That's why Hotch had been surprised to learn that someone as young and fresh as JJ was working for them.

Collins took a sip from his water and put the bottle back down on the desk. A small smile crossed his face at Hotch's curiosity. ''She's been with us for about two years now.'' he replied, thinking back through the years. ''She was recruited during her last year of college. Our eyes had been on her for months because she showed incredible potential to be a field agent one day.'' he explained proudly. ''Daniel trained her at the farm and after graduation she joined Owen Riley's unit.''

''She must be impressive in the field.'' Hotch analyzed as his boss talked about JJ with pride and loyalty. It showed him more than enough to know that JJ was truly a capable agent. He didn't know Collins to be the kind of man to gush, but talking about JJ was almost nearing that point.

''Well you can always observe from operations when she's on assignment if you're interested.'' Collins suggested happily. ''I don't think JJ would mind.''

''So you're not putting her on temporary desk duty until she has dealt with her loss?''

Collins shook his head immediately. Pulling JJ from the field meant losing the most valuable agent in Owen's unit, and he wasn't about to make that mistake. ''I can't pull her off her current assignment. It's too important, Hotchner.''

''I understand.'' he reassured. ''But I am just worried about her. Someone has to look out for her, sir.''

He could see the apparent concern on the younger agent's face, but he didn't have many options. He could only take precautionary measures if and when JJ would go out into the field. He had no valid reasoning to pull her from the field. ''I will keep an eye out of her, Aaron. I promise.'' Collins encouraged.

Hotch rose from the chair, and extended his hand to thank his boss. ''Thank you, sir.''

''No problem.'' he assured. ''You should probably get to conference room C on the third floor for your debriefing.''

''On my way.'' Hotch said as he turned around to exit the office. He closed the office door behind him while mentally preparing himself for the debriefing. He had to answers dozens of questions which would only cause him to relive the horrifying ordeal in Iraq. But if he wanted to lead a taskforce he had remove his emotions from the equation either way. He simply had no choice.

* * *

><p>JJ had been curled up in her bed all day, staring at the television screen that kept replaying a video Daniel had once made of them on his phone. It showed how unbelievably happy they were. It had been taken a few weeks after he had proposed, and it was the day before he had left for his long-term overseas assignment. Just like any other day it had been perfect. They had done the mundane things in life and settled for a day without the CIA.<p>

Another tear crept down JJ's cheek as Daniel appeared in the video, only the top of his head visible because he wanted to keep JJ in the video. She could hear his adorable laughter, and it send as chill through her body. She still didn't believe he was gone. She felt like he was about to walk through the door any moment. To lift her up in his arms and never let go. But she knew better. Even though she was in denial, deep down her chest had been ripped open. The real pain and devastation had yet to set in.

JJ was startled when the sound of a ringing phone forced her to snap from her haze. She turned on her side and reached for her phone, feeling her heart speed up when she noticed the number of her partner. She put the phone to her ear, and greeted in a whisper. ''Hello,''

''_JJ, agents on the ground here in DC have spotted one of our targets. You need to come in!'' _Owen urged on the other end of the line.

JJ sat straight up in bed, her eyes small as she tried to focus on Owen's voice. ''I'll be there in half an hour. Don't start the briefing without me.'' she said, jumping from the bed and throwing the phone onto her pillow after the call had been ended. Somehow work was a good enough motivation for her to pull everything together. Work was all she had at that time, and focusing on that seemed easier than dealing with her issues.

She jerked a pair of black jeans from the closet along with a white top and put them onto the dresser. She quickly raced into the shower to wash the grief and sorrow from the night before away, enabling herself to compartmentalize the hard parts of her life. Once she got out of the shower she hastily changed into her clothing and grabbed her gun and identification on the way out the door, ready to finish the mission and put all the strength she had into it.

Once JJ had parked her car in the underground parking garage of the CIA facility, she rapidly made her way through security and into the offices where her unit was situated. When she was standing in front of the door, protecting her from the evil in the world, she stopped for a moment to gather herself. She realized agents would know about Daniel's death, and no one in her unit had the knowledge of how personal the loss truly was to her, and she intended to keep it that way for a little while longer. When she felt a moment of calmness wash over her, she opened the door and walked inside confidently. She made her way to her office in the corner and took off her jacket and immediately proceeded towards operations where she noticed that Owen was talking to the head of SAD, Collins. She had a friendly relationship with their boss and she respected him greatly. So she opened the glass door and walked inside, causing both men to turn toward her.

''Hello,'' she greeted anxiously as she stepped towards Owen. ''What's going on?''

Owen ended his conversation with Collins and turned his attention to JJ. ''Bojing Cheong has been identified by one of our local teams.'' he clarified straightaway. ''A team has been assembled to bring him in, but I also need you on this.''

JJ nodded in response. ''We've been tracking this guy for two months. No way I am sitting this one out.''

''Good,'' Owen said as he took a remote to the screens that surrounded them. Technical support didn't lack at SAD. They had the best of the best, along with one of the greatest hackers in history, Penelope Garcia. She offered amazing support during mission and acted as their second pair of eyes and ears. ''Cheong has been linked to Chinese Triade, so bringing him in alive is absolutely important so we're able to extract information from him.''

''You want to get started on prep?'' JJ asked and the nod she received from Owen told her yes. So she took the file from his hand to read up on the case, and mission aspects before they were going out into the field, since they had to be ready in case of any situation.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Here's the next chapter. I hope you all like it!

Special thanks to HotchRocks, jenny crum, Christiangirl and Jareau37!

I don't own criminal minds!

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Five<strong>_

JJ was hurrying across the bullpen after she had read up on the case. They were about to go over the mission, but she felt an obligation to talk to Owen before going out into the field. He was her partner, and they had to rely on one another constantly, so lies could only threaten that. She stepped inside his office without an invitation, knowing he wouldn't mind her presence. They always had an understanding after working together closely since the very beginning.

Owen looked up from the table to see JJ standing in his doorway, noticing a sadness he hadn't seen before. So he immediately rose from his chair and approached her. ''Everything alright?''

She nodded and closed the remaining gap that was still between them. ''Did you hear about the agent that died in the field?'' she asked painfully, leaning against the edge of the table behind her. ''Daniel Wilson.''

''Yeah, I heard about it from Penelope.'' he replied, not understanding why JJ was bringing up the death of another agent. He suspected that she maybe was scared to go out into the field as they had lost an agent. ''We'll be fine, JJ.'' he assured as he softly touched her shoulder when a tear slipped down her cheek.

''I know.'' she croaked out. ''Daniel and I were in a relationship, Owen.'' she blurted out, hoping he wouldn't hold it against her since she never told him about it. It had only been for their own privacy, and partly because Daniel insisted. ''We got involved during training at the farm.''

JJ could see he was perplexed as he sat down in the chair next to him. She felt guilty about only delivering the news to him now, but it had been the best for everyone involved. She could only hope that her friends would forgive her. ''Owen?''

At the sound of her voice, his eyes snapped up to meet hers. Compassion and empathy had replaced the professionalism from before. ''I am so sorry.'' he whispered. ''I can't believe you're here right now, JJ.''

''Thanks.'' she said softly, her voice low and gentle. ''But I want to be here. I need to be here right now.''

''Just let me know when you need some time.'' he encouraged while rising from the chair. He gave her a small nod and then they both walked towards the door. ''Let's go to operations.''

JJ followed Owen out of the office and into the bullpen before walking into operations where she saw their team, waiting for them to start. She felt that this mission was just like any other. Go in, identify the target, and take him in. It always sounded simple, but from her personal experience she knew that it more than just a snatch and grab. Their jobs were dangerous. The people they looked for were dangerous and posed a threat to national and international security, and this time it wasn't any different.

JJ stepped inside, suddenly noticing the familiar face. She looked up at Hotch who was standing across from Collins, his arms folded across his chest. She acknowledged his presence briefly and stepped next to Owen at the front of the room.

She cleared her throat, looking up at the picture that appeared on the screen before their eyes. ''Bojing Cheong was identified by a local CIA team a few hours ago.'' she began. ''It is our objective to bring him in due to his ties with the Chinese Triad.'' she continued easily.

Owen then took over for a moment. ''Cheong is believed to be a contract killed for the Triad, which means we will approach with caution.'' he explained. ''Because we don't want our presence known, we're going in with a two-man team.'' he went on as he looked at JJ.

Hotch was listening as they went on to explain their way of closing in on the target, still not fully understanding why only JJ and her partner were going in together. If it were up to him he'd at least have two teams on the ground for back-up in case anything would happen or go wrong. But soon enough his thoughts went from disbelief to JJ. He looked at her intently, wondering how she was standing in operations only a day after she received the devastating news about Daniel. He was in awe of the strength she was radiating, but a part of him was also scared for her, and what could happen.

''JJ will pose as a maid at the hotel, and go in pretending to clean the room so we can confirm his identity.'' Owen said in addition. ''I'll be in the next room to take him down after JJ has confirmed his identity.''

Garcia suddenly turned around in her chair, facing away from her screens. She turned to both Owen and JJ. ''I will provide support from ops.'' she added quickly, knowing the briefing was about to end, and the agents didn't have much time if they were to bring in their target.

Collins walked across the room when the briefing had ended, and he signaled Hotch to follow him out of operations and into the hallway. Once they were outside he made sure no one was close enough to overhear them.

''I am usually a firm believer that Owen is capable of leading his unit, but I want you and an alpha team at the hotel to back them up in case of an emergency. They don't have to know. I just want you there in case something goes wrong.''

Hotch wasn't really surprised by Collins' orders. It only confirmed his trust in the man who was in charge of all of them. ''The team will be five minutes behind them.'' Hotch said in a whisper. He walked away from Collins when he spotted JJ in the bullpen in conversation with her partner. He immediately made his way towards her in the hopes that they could have a moment to talk before she went out into the field, on what he firmly believed to be suicide mission. And unlike anyone else, he actually seemed to have her best interest at heart. He still wasn't willing to believe that the woman he had seen break down the night before, was now capable of doing her job with a clear head.

''Jennifer?'' Hotch called out while approaching her from behind.

JJ immediately turned around when she heard her name, only to see Hotch standing right behind her. ''Hi,'' she greeted absentmindedly. ''How can I help you?''

''Do you mind if we talk in private for a moment?''

JJ was about to protest when Owen nodded and walked away from them, leaving JJ no other option but to talk to Hotch. She had no dislike for the man, but he seemed to be showing up everywhere she looked, and it started to be more painful than she had expected. ''We can go into my office.'' she whispered gently as she turned around and slowly walked across the bullpen and into her office. She closed the door behind them, and felt a moment of relief that her blinds were still closed so they had some privacy from prying eyes, knowing that some people liked office gossip more than anything. And the fact that she had never met Hotch before, and they were now talking could seem suspicious to some people.

After taking a deep breath of air, she allowed herself to turn around, facing the man she barely knew. And in the short time that she had, he had seen her more vulnerable than anyone else in her entire life, and it scared her.

Hotch on the other hand, knew what to say, but hesitated, freezing in his tracks. He considered all the things he could put out there. The danger, the loss, all of it. He was just afraid she'd push him away, when all he was trying was to help her. In the silence between them, he briefly entertained the fact that the blonde was incredibly brave, and he felt admiration for that, but at the same time her bravery was stupidity, and he couldn't let her kill herself.

''I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.'' he apologized when he observed her tense body language. ''I am only trying to look for you.''

JJ sighed, her hands falling to her sides. ''You didn't.'' she reassured. ''You just bring out the grief in me.'' she admitted fearfully.

''Are you okay?'' he asked as he slowly approached her, watching her arms hold onto herself as if to shield herself from more pain and suffering. ''JJ?''

''I don't know.'' she whispered.

His heart clenched in his chest at the sight of the woman before him so heartbroken. ''Do you want me to leave?''

''No, stay.'' she croaked out. She sat down on the couch on the opposite wall, resting her head in her hands, the tears starting to slide down her cheeks.

After a moment of indecisions, Hotch stepped forward and sat down next to her. He gently put his arm around her. He could hear her breathing slowing down, becoming steadier as he just held her close to him for comfort.

''I'm sorry.'' she sniffled as she pulled away from his side, her hands wiping at the tears on her cheek.

''It's fine.'' he mumbled kindly. ''I am here for you, JJ. You have to know that.''

She simply nodded, her hand briefly touching his before she pulled away, and rose from the couch. ''What did you want to discuss?''

He stayed seated. ''JJ, do you really think you should be back in the field?'' he asked, knowing his question could lead to a confrontation between them. It sure wasn't his place to question her, but he was only looking out for her.

She shot him a small smile before her face filled itself with a hint of anger. ''This job is all that I have, Aaron.''

He rose from the couch and approached her carefully. ''Daniel was only killed yesterday, JJ.'' he mustered. ''You suffered a major loss.''

Her face was suddenly clouded with both shock and grief. ''I know!''

''There are people who care about you, and who don't want to see you get hurt.'' he whispered. ''I don't want to see you get hurt!''

''Aaron,'' she began hesitantly. ''I appreciate all that you've done for me.'' she went on. ''But this is my life! I can make my own choices!'' she whispered painfully. ''I have to go.''

''Yeah…of course.'' he said as he stepped aside, hoping she'd make it out alive. The last thing he needed was to break his promise to Daniel only a day after he had died. And instead of holding her back, he let her walk out of the office without uttering another word. He knew he'd never be able to stop her. So he could only prepare his team and be present at the hotel for back up if they were ever going to need it. Maybe they weren't willing to admit it, but sometimes working with a team delivered better results than going in alone. Hotch was one of those agents who preferred to work with a team in the field, instead of only with a partner. But even he knew that a team couldn't always protect you from danger. Daniel's death had proven that much.

He snapped from his thoughts when he caught a glimpse of the blonde in the bullpen, walking in the direction of armory. He got into action and made his way through the building to his own office where soon the new taskforce was going to be launched to investigate Daniel's death. But he quickly rid himself of that thought and grabbed his gun from the drawer in his desk, and hastily texted agents that he knew would be able to join him on this mission.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: First of all, I am so sorry that I haven't been around for a long time. The same excuse is that I have been extremely busy. So I am very sorry! I will keep trying my very best to update as regularly as possible. Secondly, just like Forever Found this story will be long and filled with drama and angst.

Special thanks to jenny crum, HotchRocks and Jareau37!

I don't own criminal minds!

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Six<strong>_

JJ was seated in the passenger's seat of the SUV, her hands clenched together as she blankly stared out the window. The emotions she had expressed during her conversation with Hotch were just beneath the surface. The feeling of loss wasn't anything familiar to her. Never before had she lost someone so important to her. Someone who had changed her life in ways she never imagined before. Daniel had opened up her eyes to love. If anything he was probably the first man she ever truly loved. The two short-lived relationships she had before him hadn't meant anything once she realized what love really was. And their relationship had quickly turned into something she wanted for the rest of her life, but now that had been cut short. Instead of being with Daniel, she was sitting next to Owen, ready to take down a dangerous man because it was her job.

Her career had always meant everything to her, and doing something with meaning made her feel a little bit better. But now, she realized that doing her job was only going to be a distraction from the sorrow she was struggling with.

Within another second, she had been pulled from her thoughts when they pulled up in front of the hotel. She immediately jumped from the car and followed Owen's lead like she always had. Assignments with him had become common and they had set a steady routine when they were on a mission together. And this one wasn't like any other. If anything it was easier than what they usually did. She had to confirm the identity of the target, and bring him in. It sounded easy, so she hadn't put too much pressure on everything. Once they reached the room, JJ quickly changed into the maid's outfit as Owen was setting up the camera and wire that JJ was about to wear. He was her only back-up and he wanted to know when anything would go wrong. He was sitting down on the bed after he had finished, waiting for JJ to get back into the room. It was only about a minute later that she finally appeared, and he could easily observe the mask she had on in order to hide her pain. But after the time he had known her, it wasn't so easy for her to hide anything from him. And now he only felt more concerned about her.

''JJ, are you up for this?'' he asked kindly once he began to approach her. He stepped right in front of her as their eyes met and he could swear he saw a moment of hesitation in her eyes before professionalism took over.

JJ simply nodded in return, knowing her job had to be done and she felt that grieving could wait until she was home along with no one around. ''I can do this, Owen.'' she said convincingly.

With her words, he reached out to her and gently attached the name tag to her shirt. ''This will enable me to see and hear everything once you're in the next room.'' he said quickly. ''The cleaning cart is out in the hallway, the rest of the floor has been cleared and once you've given me the signal I will come in and Cheong will be brought to SAD.''

''Sounds good.'' she agreed, and then she turned around. She walked out the door and let it fall shut behind her. She looked to her right and spotted the cleaning cart. She took it and placed it close to the room their target was allegedly in. She grabbed the keycard and a few towels and she then stepped in front of the door.

Her hand softly collided with wood. ''Housekeeping!'' she said loud enough for anyone inside the room to hear her. She put the keycard in the lock, opened the door and cautiously strolled inside. She was instantly met with the sound of the shower running in the bathroom, so she believed him to be busy in the other room, lowering her guard as she made her way to the bed. But before she could take another step, she was met with a powerful blow to her stomach, sending her straight to the ground. The wind had literally been knocked out of her, but the moment of shock quickly dissipated and within a matter of seconds she was back on her feet to face her opponent. From a distance she heard Owen's voice calling out her name repeatedly and she realized he was about to back her up, but in that short moment she was still facing Cheong on her own. She surged forward when she saw Cheong reaching for his gun. She took his moment of distraction to catch him off guard, and she spun around her leg going through the air before she kicked the gun from his hand with force. She proceeded with another blow to his knee, knowing that would send him straight to the ground. After he had collided with the ground, JJ reached for her gun, suddenly coming to the realization that she had forgotten it after she had talked to Owen. She was unarmed and up against a killer, and she looked down Cheong reached for the gun at his ankle while Owen was storming into the room.

''Owen, no!'' JJ warned as she leaped forward, bringing Owen to the ground when the sound of a gunshot rang through the air. JJ had landed on top of her partner when she felt an excruciating burning sensation at her side. Her blood was pumping through her veins as she began to move across the ground, finding a place to keep her steady. In the distance she heard Owen's frantic voice calling out for her, and afterwards another gunshot rang in her ear. She was so out of it that she hadn't realized what had happened until she noticed the red fluid gushing from her side. She immediately used her hand to keep pressure on the open wound, but the hot blood kept seeping through her fingers. As she looked into the distance to search for Owen, her vision began to blur.

One floor down, Hotch and his team had been waiting patiently for any updates until the sound of a gunshot had alarmed him to the situation. His team had taken the stairs up to the floor of the incident. When they finally reached the room Hotch was met with the sight of JJ laying against the wall with bloodstained clothes, and Owen trying to overpower Cheong. His immediate concern was for JJ, knowing his team would help Owen. So he kneeled down on the ground in a panic as he watched the blonde closely. Her eyes were absent, her breathing unsteady.

''JJ!'' he called out while he put his hand on top of hers. He immediately opened up his line of communication with Owen's support team inside SAD. Collins had made sure he and his team had been linked into the same communication when it proved to be necessary. ''Agent down! I repeat agent down!''

Inside SAD, Garcia heard the panicked voice over the com and immediately began searching for the closest hospital to the location of the team. Behind her she could hear Collins swearing, and taking the initiative to talk back to the agent on the other end.

Hotch was still kneeled down next to JJ, when he heard Collins' voice in his ear. _''The closest hospital is DC Military Medical Center. Hotchner, a bravo team is on their way to you to escort both JJ and you out of the hotel.''_

His focus returned back to JJ when he saw her eyes closing. He immediately cupped her cheek, squeezing it gently. ''JJ, open your eyes for me!'' he yelled. ''You can't do this! Not today!'' he went on in a panic.

JJ could feel a presence close to her, but she was starting to lose the energy to respond and the urge to let go and close her eyes had become overwhelming. So she finally let her hand slip from her wound as her eyes closed, feeling as if that was her last moment on earth.

Hotch felt her hand slip from underneath his. In that moment he saw Daniel's death flashing before his eyes, and he couldn't let another person die in front of him. Especially not JJ. ''JJ, hold on!'' he whispered when he heard the other team approaching. When they finally reached the room, he was being pulled away to let them carry her out as one of the agents put more pressure on the gunshot wound. Instead of attending to the scene and the target, he followed the team through hotel, knowing he had to be by JJ's side every step of the way.

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><p>After a five minute drive they had reached the hospital where he jumped from the SUV and to the ground as JJ was being pulled from the SUV. He watched as doctors placed her on a gurney and began to surround her. He ran towards the gurney and took JJ's hand, squeezing it tightly as he ran through the hospital corridors along with the surgeons attending to JJ.<p>

''JJ, stay with me!'' he pleaded. ''You're going to be fine!''

Before he was able to say another word one of the doctors held him back as JJ was wheeled into one of the OR's. He took a step back as he stood in the middle of the hallway with bloodied clothing and hands. He turned around, forming a fist and slamming it into the wall to let out rage he was feeling. He wasn't just angry, he was furious that Collins had allowed her back into the field. He was angry with Owen for not having JJ's back properly, and now she might die because two people hadn't looked out for her like they should have done. But most of all he was angry with himself for not putting his foot down with JJ. His best friend had asked only one thing from him. To protect JJ. Yet, he was already failing at that. Even though he barely knew her, he felt he'd walk through hell for her if it was necessary. Something about her had pulled him since he first had seen her in the picture that Daniel had given him.

For now he could only hope that she would pull through and that she would have a chance to live her life. And as he was pacing through the hospital corridor, he looked down at his hands. The blood had dried up and darkened, so he walked into the nearest restroom and slammed the door shut behind him. He stepped in the direction of the sink and hovered above the counter, looking into the mirror. The white dress shirt of his suit was covered in blood, his tie hanging loosely around his neck, and his face was almost emotionless. It was almost as if he was in some kind of haze, not fully understanding what had happened. Or maybe, just maybe, the moment of finding JJ shot down and his arms reminded him of Daniel dying in his arms. In just period of thirty-six hours he had gone through hell and the impact of it all was finally catching up to him.

He slowly put his trembling hands under the hot water while rinsing the blood from his skin. He stopped when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, so he dried his hands and quickly put the phone to his ear. ''Hotchner,''

On the other end of the line Collins spoke back with a concerned voice. _''Is there any news yet?''_

Hotch straightened his back while trying to stay calm. ''No, nothing. I will stay at the hospital and keep you updated on her condition.''

''_Of course.'' _Collins agreed. _''Cheong died on the scene shortly after you left.''_

Hotch could barely register what his boss was saying to him. He didn't really care that some criminal had died. His head was only with the blonde who had been taken into the OR just a few minutes earlier. ''I'll call you when there's news.'' he said before hanging up the phone and walking back to the sink to wash off the remnants of the blood.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Here's another chapter. I hope you all like it!

On another note: I wanted to let you guys know that I might be changing the summary to this story.

Special thanks to HotchRocks, jenny crum, guest and Jareau37!

I don't own criminal minds!

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>_

It was only two hours later that Hotch noticed one of JJ's surgeons approaching him. He immediately rushed towards the doctor and came to a standstill right in front of him, the fear coursing through his body. Did she make it? Or did she die? He didn't know and the questions were killing him.

''How is she?'' he asked fearfully, one hand going through his hair as he looked up at the stranger who had the only answer he needed to hear.

''Agent Jareau was extremely lucky, sir.'' the doctor began calmly. ''An abdominal wound like hers usually results in major damage to the internal organs.'' he went on, noticing that the man before him needed to hear about JJ's condition. ''Upon entry into the abdominal cavity the bullet ruptured one small artery and then lodged near a major artery, causing the extreme blood loss after the wound occurred. We were able to repair all her injuries. She should be waking up in a few hours.''

Hotch breathed out immediately when the doctor told him JJ would be okay. He leaned against the wall behind him with a smile across his face. ''Thank you.'' he said, shaking the doctor's hand. ''When can she go home?''

''We'll keep her for observation for another three days, but she'll recover fairly quickly.'' he replied. ''Your agent is a very lucky woman.''

''Thank you so much!'' Hotch said again as a sigh of relief left him. He suddenly felt so much lighter, knowing that JJ had pulled through. Somehow her survival had been the only important thing to him. But if it had been on him, he would've never let her go into the field after what had happened in her life. And he knew that Collins had probably regretted his decision to let her go on a mission while she had only suffered a loss the day before.

* * *

><p>After a long ride back to SAD, Hotch found himself walking into the offices, only to find that Collins and Owen were waiting in his office. He quickly walked straight across the bullpen and opened the door to his office.<p>

He stopped once the door fell shut behind him. ''JJ is going to be fine.'' he reassured, even though he had called the moment he had gotten the news. But he knew that JJ probably meant a lot to her colleagues, and their concern was of course a good thing in his eyes. ''The doctor said she'll be able to go home in three days. Just in time for Daniel's funeral.'' he added sadly while sitting down behind his desk.

Once he was sitting down he finally noticed the expression on both their faces. While Owen seemed to carry deep regret, Collins looked intense as if a major decision had to be made. ''What's going on?'' he asked curiously.

Owen stepped away from the wall and turned to the door, calling out for Garcia to join them in the office. He held the door open until the perky woman was standing in the middle of the office with a tablet in one hand. ''Show it to him.'' Owen insisted, slightly disappointed.

Garcia felt hesitant, wondering why another person had to be involved. ''I would like to say that I don't approve this!'' she said angrily.

Hotch took the tablet from Garcia and gave her a friendly nod. He pushed play on the screen and soon enough realized he was looking at the footage of JJ entering the hotel room. It wasn't long before he saw someone hitting JJ hard, and forcing her onto the ground. But as he kept on watching, he realized why they had decided to show him the video. So he stopped the video from playing and handed the tabled back to Garcia. ''Thank you!'' he said, his heart speeding up. ''Could you give us a moment?'' he asked her politely. He watched as Garcia left the office in a hurry. The moment she had disappeared from his side, he rose from his chair and faced the other two men again. ''JJ was unarmed.'' he concluded.

''She either forgot her gun or she…'' Owen began, but was immediately interrupted by Hotch.

''Don't you dare finish that sentence!'' he warned. ''A member of your team, your partner…was…is unstable and you let her go into the field?'' he went on angrily. ''If you had her back this would never have happened, so don't you dare blame this on JJ.''

Collins rose from the chair he was seated in and stepped in between the two men, knowing Hotch was about to cross a line. ''Hotchner, calm down.''

With those words, Hotch turned to his superior with an expression filled with disbelief. ''We almost lost another agent!'' he stated. ''She lost her fiancé. How do you expect her to be field ready?''

''The better question is what we are supposed to do about this situation.'' Owen shot back. ''I don't know how to help JJ with this. I can't help her.''

Hotch began to calm down when he saw that Owen seemed to be worried just as much as him. He had a few options in his head about what could possibly be best for JJ once she came back to work. ''What if we transfer JJ to my unit?'' he suggested to Collins.

''I don't think that will improve anything. Besides, you're starting the taskforce next week.'' Collins responded.

''I will still remain in charge of my unit while I'll be heading the taskforce.'' Hotch began. ''I think a new team might do JJ some good.'' he went on. ''My unit could use someone on desk duty to keep track of all assignment and missions, maybe even provide support during overseas assignments. It would be the perfect job for her.''

''We can try it out on a trial basis for three months. Then we'll revisit the issue.'' Collins agreed. ''But do come to me if you experience any issues.''

''Of course, sir.'' Hotch replied. ''I will keep you updated on JJ's progress, I promise.'' he reassured.

As Owen stood by and watched the two superiors talk to one another, he was at a loss for words. So he decided to interrupt them. ''I think JJ should remain with her old team. The people she knows can help her through this.''

''I have to agree with Hotchner on this, Owen.'' Collins said. ''JJ needs a change and staying in your team won't do her any good. I am sorry.'' he said, then turning to Hotch to get to other matters concerning the taskforce. ''Agent Prentiss will arrive in a few hours and I would like you to introduce her to some of the agents tomorrow.''

Hotch nodded. ''Of course.'' he agreed. ''Some of the assigned agents are bringing in Daniel's personal belongings in about an hour so the investigation has already started.'' he assured, letting his boss know that JJ's failed mission wasn't holding him back from performing properly.

''You're investigating his personal life?'' Owen asked in surprise.

''We just want to exhaust all avenues in this investigation since one of our own was killed, and since we suspect it to have been a trap.'' Hotch explained quickly. He didn't understand how Owen could be questioning him after his own lapse in judgment regarding JJ. Hotch had never worked with the man before, and didn't feel like doing it in the future. ''I'll keep you both updated on the situation.'' he assured, letting both men know he had to get back to work. So he sat back down behind his desk, opened up the files on Daniel's death, ready to read through the reports and witness statements from his agents, but somehow his mind wasn't in it. He looked up from his desk and saw the technical analyst talking to her colleagues. He immediately jumped up from his chair, opening his door and poking his head around it. ''Hey!'' he called out, hoping she would turn around but she kept on talking to the people around her. ''Garcia, is it?'' he asked and this time she turned around and faced him with a small smile.

''Yes, sir. My name is Garcia.'' she confirmed while walking towards his office. ''How can I help you?''

''I would like to talk to you for a moment.'' he said, stepping aside to let her into his office. He closed the door behind her and followed by closing the blinds as well, even though it was uncharacteristic of him to do so. ''Please have a seat.'' he offered.

He sat down on the other end of the couch to leave enough space between them so it wouldn't be more awkward than it already was. ''I have heard that you are Jennifer's friend?'' he asked.

Garcia nodded to the agent. To her he was somewhat of a stranger, and she only knew his name from around the office. He was the head of one of the units that stayed on overseas missions for months at a time. He had quite the reputation around the office. Stoic, cold, harsh. That was all she ever heard about the man before her. ''She's my best friend, sir.''

''Please call me Hotch.'' he insisted with a weak smile.

Garcia extended her hand when she felt a moment of relief wash over her. It had only been a few moments since she sat down with him, but it felt comfortable. Unlike anything she expected. ''I am Penelope.'' she introduced politely.

''It's an honor to meet you.'' he said. ''Collins speaks very highly of you.'' he continued. ''And that's why I asked you in here.'' he went on, stopping for a moment when he didn't know what exactly to say.

''What is it?''

''JJ will be transferred to my unit for desk duty where she'll oversee missions from here.'' he replied. ''I would also like you to join my unit, not only for your skills, but also because I want a familiar face for JJ around the office.''

''I don't think that Collins would allow a transfer.'' Garcia interrupted.

''You may heard rumors about a new taskforce, or rather, Operation Fallout.'' he stated without hesitation. ''This operation is going to investigate the death of Daniel Wilson and I have gotten support from the Director of Intelligence himself. I can transfer anyone I would like for my taskforce, but not without your consent of course.''

She leaned against the back of the couch. She loved working closely with Owen, but now that JJ was leaving, she realized a new scenery could be good for her as well. ''I'll do it!'' she agreed happily. ''I heard you were with JJ at the hospital. How is she doing?''

''The surgeon told me that she'll recover. I just don't know how long it will take her to recover from Daniel's death.'' he said in a whisper. ''Did you know about Daniel and JJ?''

Garcia smiled for a moment and then locked eyes with him. ''She told me she was involved with someone from SAD, but I once saw them together and I just knew. They looked incredibly happy together.''

''She's going to need you to get through this, so I appreciate your willingness to work for me.'' he said thankfully as he rose from the couch. ''You'll start next week. All new agents and analysts will be introduced to one another then.''

''I'll be there.'' she promised as she began to walk to the door, but before she left she turned around once more, having realized that he truly looking out for JJ. And for a stranger that was rather extraordinary. ''Thank you for protecting, JJ.''

Hotch simply nodded and watched as she walked out of the office. He had no idea what the future held, especially for JJ. All he knew was that he would protect her no matter. It was his dying friend's last wish, so he wasn't going to disappoint his best friend. He couldn't.


End file.
